From Vegan Pregnancy To Vegan Motherhood

Scientists have been able to map how pregnancy and motherhood change brains in substantial ways. This shouldn't come as a surprise to those of us going through this process. In fact, I've always noticed a clear difference in how my brain works depending on where I am in my monthly cycle. One of the things I've observed is that, when there's a hormonal surge, my empathy levels skyrocket. And as a vegan, that means the pain of animal suffering becomes more acute, so I feel a strong need to speak up for their rights.

As I reach the end of my pregnancy and become more attuned to emotions, I can't help but think of all the injustices in the world. War, genocide, oppression, hatred and violence in so many forms... So much human suffering, and so much animal suffering, the kind that goes unnoticed, the kind that vegans speak about and receive blank stares or even hate in response. I've talked about veganism on this blog before, but today I want to get personal, open my heart, and travel to the past... and the future.

The past

Like most people, the first time I saw vegan activists I believed they were extremists. I had been taught we need to eat animal products in order to survive, and watching them advocate for the animals I ate was... uncomfortable. I thought they were probably malnourished and full of angry, radical ideas. So much judgement in a few seconds, when all they were doing was hand out some leaflets and defend the idea that all species deserve moral consideration. 

After avoiding thinking of how animals live and die in farms and slaughterhouses for years; after getting defensive whenever a vegan said something like, "it is hypocritical to be against bullfighting and eat animals", or that vegetarianism is not enough, I got tired of making this about me, and started getting curious. I read and read and read some more, and I watched videos and documentaries that gave me nightmares. My nephew thinks I'm crazy for doing that, but I am so grateful I did. Perhaps ignorance is bliss, but when you see with your own eyes that you've been contributing to hell on Earth, you really want to put a stop to it. An abstract idea won't do. You need that visceral reaction to motivate you to change.

It is shameful to admit that it took me more than twenty years to ask myself what happens to calves in the dairy industry. Some people believe cows automatically produce milk but, like any mammal, they won't have milk unless they have a baby. Same with a goat, a sheep, a mare... or a human. But if farmers sell that milk, what does the baby get? This was just the tip of the iceberg I uncovered when I started researching. The dairy industry is one of the cruellest industries, and there is nothing I regret more than having contributed to it so much for so long. Yet everything around us is designed to keep us in the dark.

So, I get it. I get it when people tell me, "I still believe you need meat to be healthy". I get it when someone confesses they could never give up cheese. I get it when they will oppose certain forms of abuse like, maybe, bullfighting or hunting while they have steak for dinner. I get it when they take their children to the zoo or to see dolphins jump in a pool, or when the whole family creates a beautiful memory by going out for a seemingly innocent ice-cream. I get it because I've been on that side too, because I grew up in the same society, indoctrinated by a system and an industry that lied to me, as it lies to everyone. 

But because I've been on the other side, I know we can do better. We must. 

The future

People ask me if I'm going to raise my child vegan. Most think of it as an imposition. They seem to have this vision of me and other vegan parents hovering over our children and screaming, "you can't eat this piece of meat/cheese/egg...!" The majority believe a child can't be healthy if their diet doesn't include animal products, but the biggest nutrition academies have long proved a plant-based diet is perfectly healthy at every stage of life. The truth is vegans, and especially vegan parents, tend to be extremely informed about nutrition. Would we have chosen this path if we truly couldn't live healthy lives without eating animal products? Would we condemn our children to disease or malnutrition just out of pure stubbornness?

It's really simple. These are our values: that all species deserve a life free from harm and exploitation. That we have no right to kill another animal if it's not necessary for our survival. We aim to teach our children to respect all life. It's not about diet, it's not about changing traditions, and it's not about being different because we think we're superior. It's because we dream of a better world, one in which we don't have to build walls to hide the horrors that we inflict on the billions of victims we use, abuse and kill in the name of convenience, tradition and pleasure. One in which we don't have to continuously lie to children about where their food comes from, or how their entertainment harms the very animals they love.

When my son grows up, he will make his own decisions. Until then, I decide for him, in the same way every other parent decides for their own children. This doesn't mean I will impose anything on him. It means I will raise him according to my values, because it's what I believe in. I was raised Catholic, because that's what my mother believed was right. This is no different.

I go for walks where I live, heavy and achy, thinking that soon I'll be walking with my baby in my arms. I look at the cows on the fields, some of them mothers, and they look back at me with that serenity bovines embody. Then I picture my son when he's a bit older, looking at them with awe, like most children do, and I wish, I really wish, all of us took a moment to go within and connect with that child in us. The one that knew how to be fully present. The one that could look at an animal in the eye and see them for who they are, not for what they can do for us. The one that wouldn't want to hurt them.

And then perhaps we could change the world. One person at a time. One step at a time. Together.