The Question That Challenges All Negative Thoughts

We all are excellent hypnotists.

Come again? 

Yes. We are excellent hypnotists, but it is not other people we hypnotise, no. It’s ourselves. We hypnotise ourselves over and over, and the funny thing is we don’t even realise we’re doing it. And because it’s such an automatic practice for all of us, sometimes we can make life more difficult for ourselves because we use the wrong commands.

We say, nobody understands me.

We say, I will never achieve this goal.

We say, everyone betrays me.

Word after word, we slowly create a vision that defines us, our life and others. And we start reacting to that vision, even if we have no tangible proof that what we believe is true. So if we feel nobody understands us, we stop reaching out to others, missing out on the opportunity to find at least one person who will understand. If we tell ourselves we’ll never achieve what we want, we’ll stop trying. If we think everyone is going to betray us, we’ll become defensive, bitter, resentful, and eventually, our relationships will fizzle out because we’ll push people away.

And the whole time we’ll believe others are the problem. 

It’s so subtle, this habit. So subtle it takes tremendous awareness to challenge it. And it won’t go away. It always comes back, sneaking up on us when we least expect it, playing with our malleable thoughts until we believe in absolutes. But there are no absolutes.

Sure, many people will never understand us, but some will. And it’s easier than ever to find kindred spirits in a world that has never before been so full of possibility. 

Yes, sometimes we don’t achieve what we set out to do, but perhaps by pursuing this goal we’ve opened doors that weren’t there before. And, who knows, perhaps we’ll actually achieve it.

And yes, humans betray each other sometimes, but perhaps the person who made us lose faith in humanity didn’t mean to hurt us. Perhaps they did the best they could in their situation. It’s hard to admit it, but most people are not evil. And if we stumbled upon someone who was, we only need to look around to find good-intentioned people. They’re everywhere.

This is the exercise that is required of us to break the trance we’ve put ourselves under. And it all begins with a very simple question: 

Is this absolutely true?

I recommend turning this into a writing exercise. Write down the belief that’s holding you back. It might be something you say out loud or something you quietly tell yourself. If you’re not sure what the belief is, watch for dips in energy. As soon as you start feeling moody, sad, angry or simply heavy in your body, look for the last thought you had and what caused it. Think of it as a thread you pull to unveil the hidden thought. And then put it on paper.

So, is this absolutely true? Can you think of three other possibilities? Start a dialogue with yourself. If there are others involved, try to see things from their perspective, try to find explanations for their behaviour. And write. Write. Write. See the whole picture. You are bigger than the thoughts in your head. 

Get out of the trance.