Finding Beauty In Darkness

Happy winter solstice to those in the northern hemisphere! And if you’re reading this from the southern hemisphere, happy summer solstice! It’s always nice to remember the sun is always shining somewhere in the world.

Tonight is the darkest night of the year. There was a time in my life when my anxiety skyrocketed after sunset, and to this day, if I’m stuck indoors when night falls, I still get that uneasy feeling in my body. It took me some time to learn that if I was outdoors and watched the sky go dark or, even better, the sun go down, that anxiety didn’t show up. It’s a strange thing but it proves how important it is for us sensitive souls to connect with nature.

Every winter I get the same longing for a life closer to nature, and every winter I promise myself it will be my last in the city. But it’s never been easy to make this a reality and this year hasn’t made it any easier. Once more, I set the intention to leave the big city in 2021. Perhaps announcing it publicly will make it more feasible.

In the meantime, I try to find beauty in darkness. I search for the bit of nature available to me: a majestic tree, a beautiful bird, a dreamy pink sky, yellow leaves gently falling off the trees under the golden sunlight… And when I can, I go to the beach, trying to remind myself that not everyone can dip their toes in the sea and sink their feet in the sand. These moments are precious.

I made a couple of short videos that represent these moments. You can find them here and here. You'll get to see beautiful nature and my dogs! (If you’re on Instagram, come and say hello!)

We need darkness as much as light. We need winter as much as summer or spring. We need things to slow down so we can remember where we’re going. We need quiet so we can hear the whispers of our soul, gently reminding us what we need to let go of so we can make room for what brings us joy. 

And there is so much beauty in all of that.

I leave you with a winter-inspired poem I wrote. I hope you find peace in it.

Trees can't flower continuously
and neither can we.
There's a time for flowering
and a time for shedding
and a time for waiting patiently
and saving energy.

There's a time for bird songs
and a time for fluttering insects
and a time for sun rays
and a time for raindrops
and then the time comes
to be quiet again.

Our bodies are like trees in motion
with their own cycles
and we need to respect those cycles
to maintain our health
and our sanity.

So take a deep breath with me
and remember
your body is sacred.

And think about that the next time
that you rush
that you fill yourself with stuff
that doesn't do you any good
that you get trapped in the belief
that this is all there is.

And sway.
And sway.
And sway.

Because after winter comes spring.

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